Written by ; Karishma VP
A friend messaged me this video today. It is a clipping from a popular Malayalam TV cookery show, with the hostess being Annie, who was once a leading actress and is now the wife of a leading director (dressed in blue and white). After cooking a dish, she invites celebrities to chat and shares what she cooked.
Frankly, I was gobsmacked when I heard this conversation between her and Sarayu, an actress. What astounded me was the level of internalized misogyny that educated, privileged, well-to-do women have.
What I am sad about is the level of brainwashing that systematically goes into a human being to make them feel that its normal to not be treated as an equal. To not see the unfairness of it. To not even ask for it. To put down other human beings who want that respect and equality. To question why they want it.
I have no doubt that if all women were to think like this, all marriages would be a 100% ”success”. All men would be 100% happy and at peace. There would be 0% divorces. I was pleasantly surprised to see a meme already illustrated by the talented Priya Mary Jacob about this clip. Without further ado, here’s the translation I did (not perfect) though I must say, there’s nothing like hearing it in Malayalam.
Guest: A woman should always be one ”podi/smidge/powder/grain” lower than the man. That is what I like.
Annie: Yes, that is the best way.
Guest: Yes, that is the safest way.
Annie: Not only safe, that is the correct way.
Guest: That is the correct ”ratio” (to be lower)
Annie: That is what I also like
Guest: When you stand like that (lower to the man) problems will be less. Women don’t need to show that they are ”someone”.
Annie: Yes, no need to be a feminist, isn’t it?
Guest: Why do we need feminism? Let equality come, that’s enough.
Annie: But when we talk about equality, here’s the thing. Whatever it is, our husband will be a few years older than us. They have seen a different world than us. Since they are more experienced than us, there’s nothing wrong if we obey what they say.
Guest: Exactly. Nothing wrong if we obey.
Annie: Yes, we just have to ask why are we obeying, then we will understand. I think this is the major reason why there are problems nowadays between couples.
Guest: I feel women are wanting too much freedom nowadays. We actually don’t need all that.
One moment of silence for the struggle of feminists because of whom these women were able to:
1. Get a proper education
2. Get into a career they wanted even if it was against what society would traditionally consider ”not respectable”
3. Marry who they wanted
4. Dress how they want
5. Come on TV and express themselves
Please, concentrate on cooking for a cooking show and opine on things like feminism AFTER you learn what it really is about.